Containing 286 verses, sura number two, Al-Baqarah ("The Cow") is the longest sura in the Qur'an. Way to stick the hard stuff right at the beginning.
It says in the first few verses that you go to Heaven if you "believe in that which has been revealed to thee (i.e., the Qur'an) and that which was revealed before thee (i.e., the Torah or Gospel)" (4). God approves if you believe in any one of three books which completely contradict one another.
It says that this book is a "guide" for those who "believe in the Unseen". However, human beings do not have free will. The infidels do not believe in Allah because he forces them not to. AND he's going to punish them for it!
Those who disbelieve--it being alike to them whether thou warn them or warn them not--they will not believe.
Allah has sealed their hearts and their hearing; and there is a covering on their eyes, and for them is a grievous chastisement. (6-7)
I dare you to come up with an idea more sickening in its malevolence than a God so sadistic that he purposely keeps people from knowing him in order to torture them.
If you doubt the Qur'an, then just try to write something as beautiful as it yourself. You will fail and go to hell for being a disbeliever:
And if you are in doubt as to that which We have revealed to Our servant, then produce a chapter like it and call on your helpers besides Allah if you are truthful.
But if you do (it) not--and you can never do (it)--then be on your guard against the fire whose fuel is men and stones; it is prepared for the disbelievers. (23-24)
Yay. Another religion obliges its members to act out of fear of punishment, pain, and torture.
The creation of Adam is recounted here. It begins with Allah telling his angels that he is "going to place a ruler in the earth". The angels replied, "Wilt Thou place in it such as make mischief in it and shed blood? And we celebrate Thy praise and extol Thy holiness." (30) In English, that would be more like: "What?! You're going to put someone on Earth who is going to spread evil and shed blood, while we are here praising you?" Allah's response was, "Surely I know what you know not."
Allah then taught Adam the names of all of the animals. Then he went to the angels and said, "If you know so much, then why don't you tell me the names of these animals here?" (Not an actual quotation.)
The angels realized that Allah had proved that they only know what he tells them: "Glory be to Thee! We have no knowledge but that which Thou hast taught us. Surely Thou art the Knowing, the Wise." (32)
Hey. If the angels have "no knowledge but that which (Allah) hast taught" them, then HOW did they know that mankind will spread evil and shed blood?
Oh boy...another long book full of contradictions....
Allah then tells all of the angels to bow down and worship the man. The only one who refused was Iblis (Satan in Islam).
Allah then addresses the Jews for awhile. For some reason he starts to use "me" instead of the royal "we".
Allah claims to be the same entity as the God of Israel, and promises the Jews that he "shall fulfill the covenant" with them (40) But he also commands them to "believe in that which I have revealed" (i.e., the Qur'an) and to pay the zakat. The zakat is a mandatory tithing to "the needy" that Muslims must pay. In Muhammad's day, it was more like a tax, and the money went to the prophet himself.
A few stories from Exodus involving Moses and the wandering Jews are recounted here. There is one story that I don't remember from the Bible. The Jews were tired of eating quail and manna all of the time, so they asked Moses for some lentils and vegetables to have a little variety. Moses replied, according to Allah: "Will you exchange that which is better for that which is worse? Enter a city, so you will have what you ask for." Allah continues: "And abasement and humiliation were brought down upon them, and they became deserving of Allah's wrath" (61). Ask for vegetables, and you become deserving of Allah's wrath.
Liberal Muslims quote this next verse to non-Muslims A LOT:
Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Zoroastrians, whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day and does good, they have their reward with their Lord, and there is no fear for them, nor shall they grieve. (62)
This is over-quoted in hopes of luring you in--to make Islam seem tolerant, and to make you say, "Hey, I'm almost a Muslim already just by believing in God, so I might as well go ahead and convert!"
Here are two verses I actually don't see quoted often:
And indeed you know those among you who violated the Sabbath, so We said to them: Be (as) apes, despised and hated.
So We made them an example to those who witnessed it and those who came after it and an admonition to those who guard against evil. (65-66)
Allah punished Jews for working on the Sabbath by either turning them into apes or making them behave "as" apes. Allah literally turns some Jews into apes and swine in the fifth sura, but that is for another day. Muslims, by the way, do *not* observe a Saturday Sabbath as God commanded in the Torah. So what the hell?
Then Jesus is mentioned. In fact, it is written that Allah "strengthened him with the Holy Spirit" (87). I was really surprised to see the Holy Spirit mentioned in the Qur'an. Muslims HATE the SHIT out of the idea of Trinity. They furiously claim that it is a form of polytheism. Come on... can't an omnipotent being be present in three persons if he wanted to?
According to verse 88, if you disbelieve the Qur'an, then Allah will curse you. The curse makes you...disbelieve the Qur'an. Is that supposed to be reverse psychology or something?
Allah instructs Muslims to rhetorically ask unbelieving Jews, "Why then did you kill Allah's Prophets before if you were indeed believers?" (91) If I was a Jew, I might respond: "First of all, *I* didn't kill the prophets--a few corrupt, powerful individuals did hundreds of years ago. Your question is like me asking a Muslim who lives down the street from me, 'Why did you fly an airplane into the Pentagon?'" Blaming contemporary Jews for the murder of old prophets isn't cool, dude.
To paraphrase verse 94, Muhammad says to the Jews, "If you're so sure that only your people will live in Heaven with God, then why don't you kill yourselves?" In verse 95, he implies that, since they *don't* long for death, that proves that they're evil. TRUE believers WANT to die. This all sounds awfully familiar...
"And thou wilt certainly find them (the Jews) the greediest of men for life..." (96) One translation reads, of verse 99, "...only the wicked will reject" the Qur'an.
Muhammad accuses Jews of practicing sorcery, which they learned from "devils", and used it to break up marriages (102). I bet the Jews also orchestrated 9/11.
Are Allah and the Qur'an perfect and eternal? No. "Whatever message We abrogate or cause to be forgotten, We bring one better than it or one like it." (106) Two alternative translations read: "When we cancel a Verse or throw it into oblivion, We replace it with a better one."--or--"Whatever Revelation We abrogate or cause to be forgotten, We substitute something better." Wouldn't an omnipotent being be able to create the best possible verses on the first try?
Some have said, "No one will enter Paradise except Jews or Christians!" Such is their wishful thinking. Say, "Show us your proof, if you are right." (111)
I don't suppose YOU have any "proof" of your rules of Paradise? Oh well. At least he continues:
Indeed, those who submit themselves absolutely to Allah alone, while leading a righteous life, will receive their recompense from their Lord; they have nothing to fear, nor will they grieve. (112)
For those of you reading along, you might have noticed that I have given up on quoting Maulana Muhammad Ali's translation. If you HAVE been reading along, then you know why.
Muhammad complains that people are always looking for miracles. He says that miracles do occur, but they are ONLY shown to "those who have attained certainty" (118). Give me a break!
"Neither the Jews, nor the Christians, will accept you, unless you follow their religion." (120) Is Islam different?
Also, in the sura, Muhammad claims that Abraham (and other Biblical patriarchs) were actually Muslims, and that ordinary Jews were and are simply practicing a false religion.
Those who die for Allah aren't really dead, but they dwell in Paradise (153).
To be continued...
This shit is worse than the Bible! There is no order! It just goes on and on! Randomly!